j'adore ♥ mademoiselle superficiel


we are all superficial bitches, honey, don't you deny it. xoxo

guy:

mom it’s NOT porn they’re POLE DANCING ANIMALS goddamn

image

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(Source: guy, via alpacawaifu)

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

codename-lol:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

are you kidding im going to use all of these

My personal favourite that i’d like to add to the list:

- veiny bang stick

(via alpacawaifu)

viva-la-hetalia:

kushdrinker:

OH SHIT I FOUND A LIST OF PRICES OF ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET

Kidney, $262,000 in the U.S., $62,000 in China, $15,000 in India.

Liver, $157,000.

Heart, $119,000.

Small intestine, $2,519.

Pair of eyeballs, $1,525.

Coronary artery, $1,525.

Gallbladder, $1,219.

Skull with teeth, $1,200.

Scalp, $607.

Spleen, $508.

Stomach, $508.

Hand and forearm, $385.

Pint of blood, $337 in the U.S., just $25 in India.

Skin, $10 per square inch.

who wants to get rich with me

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(via alpacawaifu)

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

(Source: jizeru-jueru, via alpacawaifu)

You tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake…You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.

—Warsan Shire (via efidelity)

(Source: theseliteraryquotes, via foxypunx123)